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Chapter 40: [Active Devotee] Showing Her Smile (2)

Every time I killed someone, I would feel myself falling down.

It was like I had fallen into the deep of the ocean. I couldn’t breathe with the blood in my vein getting colder and colder.

I was afraid… afraid that my blood wouldn’t get warm anymore.

Then I couldn’t help hugging myself… Ah, I got my clothes dirty.

I had bought this with Jun Cheng… It was such a shame… I hoped there would be a way to wash the blood stains off…

“…” I was a bit different now… Once upon a time, I had not been able to kill anyone so resolutely or given the critical strike.

Disabling someone was already enough for me.

However, lately I could end one’s life without any difficulty.

I had already fully absorbed the power which had given to me by Xun and mastered the skill.

I had even managed to dismember someone just now.

It turned out that… one would really got addicted to killing others.

Like this man.

Killing people became one of his hobbies. He was more addicted to killing than taking drugs. What’s more, he didn’t realize that he had already been that sick.

He was wild about breaking those delicate vessels called ‘Killing Ghost’. Seeing the red liquid in those vessels flowing out and being cooled to the temperature in the air, he felt pleasure of being able to get his revenge.

In the end, he had only found that the blood in his vein had also cooled off.

The one who killed others would definitely be killed by someone else.

An avenger or a killer, they were only players on the stage who had no commands over themselves.

Then… One day, I, the girl who was trapped in the killing circles, would be killed by someone else.

The sadness from love, the guilt due to my affection. Even if I didn’t meant to kill those people, I shouldn’t be forgiven.

Before that… I wanted to, stay by his side.

I wanted to die in his arms if I could…

“Oh, you finished?”

“Yeah, it’s done.”

After I had been in a draught on the rooftop for a while, Xun arrived.

“Well, these days you have cut them into the pieces that are easy to chew. Well done, Xue’er~”

“Thanks. That’s easy.” I couldn’t even call the man I had just killed a component of mine. And that was not a battle.

I slaughtered him and reaped a life, that was all.

He had only wanted liberation. And I had given the thing he had longed for to him, which was death.

“Gosh, I thought they would lay low for a while after what had happened last time. But there are still some bold Killing Ghosts remaining active… Hey!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just smelled something familiar. I thought it was from the Yaksha Ghost who has escaped, but it is from…”

“From who?” When we had handled the Killing Ghost event last time, Xun had found and eaten most of the ghosts. However, the Yaksha Ghost who had possessed in Tong Jialin had escaped.

Now come to think about it, Ye Liusu might have killed Tong Jialin unintentionally, like she had broken a toy of her friend. However, that action had saved that Yaksha Ghost. If the people of the Search Department hadn’t left the spot so early, they might be able to locate that Yaksha Ghost and send Xun to finish that ghost.

Now this Yaksha Ghost was a wanted ghost of the organization. However, he was still not found for the moment, after all, the ghosts were all good at playing hide and seek.

I thought the Killing Ghost who had shown up suddenly had been possessed by that Yaksha Ghost too. However, Xun had smelled something familiar while this man hadn’t been possessed… So was it possible that…

“Ah, it’s not what you think. The familiar smell is from our kind.” Xun pointed to the flesh on the ground and said that.

I understood what she had meant by ‘our kind’.

“Other, ghouls?”

“That’s right… they have come here as I have expected.”

“You have foreseen that?”

“Of course.”

“I mean, after all, this place is like a sacred place for us… Xue’er, do you know what is the favorite food of the Killing Ghost?”

I tilted my head and answered,

“Hmm… Donuts?” There were so many things that Xun liked to eat. It was hard to give the answer right away. Every time she ate something delicious, she would say, “XXX is so delicious! It’s the most delicious food in this world!” Only that time when she had eaten the donuts, she had said, “It’s the most delicious food I have ever eaten until now… More delicious than anything else!” So, it should be donuts.

“Yes, of course our favorite food is donu… No! I mean, we are called ghouls, which means that our favorite food is corpse!”

“But, won’t you be tired eating one thing the whole time?”

“We will… I even want to puke when I see corpses… Eh, stop interrupting me, Xue’er!” Xun walked over angrily, trying to pinch my face. But I dodged her hand.

I didn’t care about other ghouls. You were the only ghoul I knew anyway.

“In a word, the favorite food of the normal ghouls is corpses! And among all kinds of corpse, only eating the corpses that could move would enhance our power. Do you understand what I mean?”

“The zombies?”

“That’s right. Zombies and ghouls are natural enemies! Since the zombies are everywhere in this city, I wouldn’t be surprised that those ghouls would gather here.” The thing she had just told meant nothing to me, but was very important to Xun.

After all, those ghouls and Xun were of the same kind.

“Are you going to be fine?” I had asked a meaningless question. Judging from the look on Xun’s face, I knew that she was not fine at all.

“… Killing our own kind is forbidden… But if there is no other way… I would have to…” Hearing that, I walked over and hugged her, saying,

“Don’t force yourself.”

“… Yeah, I know. Thank you , Xue’er.” When I saw her smiling again, I let go of her.

Having collected herself again, Xun changed the subject.

“By the way, you are gonna see Cheng Jun at school tomorrow. Feeling excited about it?”

“Yes, I have waited for that for a long time.” I could finally meet Jun Cheng.

Though Jun Cheng’s finger was in my body now… which meant we had been connected to each other the whole time.

I still wanted to meet him.

I wanted to throw myself in his arms, I wanted to be hugged by him, I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to exchange saliva with him.

It had only been two days that I hadn’t seen him, I had been thinking of him all the time.

He was my weakness, my loophole.

“Ho ho, let’s me tell you this, Cheng Jun also joined the organization! So he will hang out in the Black Street very often. And you can visit him as long as you want.”

“…”

“Eh? What’s with that face? You are not happy about that?”

“No… I am very happy.” Supper happy.

Something had acted on my face. The corner of my lips was lifted.

It was called smiling, right?

“Thanks for telling me, Xun.”

“… Ah… Ahhhhhhhh! You have smiled! Xue’er! That’s the first time I saw you smile! Oh my~~~ You look so adorable!!!” Eh… Did she need to be that exaggerating?

It was reasonable to put on a smile when I felt joyful… Right? Mother… I could finally smile naturally… Mother… I lived a happy life right now. I would put on smile more often.

“Come on! Smile again, Xue’er! I’ll take a photo of you!”

“…” Maybe I shouldn’t smile that often.

I would only smile to Jun Cheng in the future.

Perhaps he would look at me in a daze like Xun… and put on a silly look on his face… Damn it, I wanted to smile again.