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Chapter 12 Don’t you feel ashamed to do this to me?



Omma, appa, I hate this life I hate this marriage and I hatred my so called husband a lot. She exclaimed in front of her parent picture, and then she curled up on the sofa, and fell asleep.

Eunbi awaken by the ringtone of her phone she took her smart-phone looked at the display before answering the call, and it reads omma she quickly sat up on the sofa and answered the call.

Eunbi: "hello, omma how are you?"

Mrs. Yoon: "I am fine, Eunbi-yah how are you my dear?"

Eunbi: "I-I am..."

She paused for a few seconds and burst out crying as she heard her mothers’ voice.

Mrs. Yoon: "Eunbi-yah, what happened, why you are crying?"

Instead of responding her mother, Eunbi placed the phone next to her on the sofa and cried out loud for a minute.

Eunbi: "omma, I think I can’t manage this marriage life even for a month."

Mrs. Yoon: "stop crying my baby girl, and listen to omma. It’s just a common fear comes for every woman at the beginning stage of the marriage, even I too had cried a lot. You will be all right gradually, I think you are depressed by staying all day alone in the house, go out, breathe some fresh air and relax yourself. Will you do that for me?"

Eunbi: "hmm"

Mrs. Yoon: "When are you planning to continue your studies?"

Eunbi: "He has been too busy with his official work. We don’t have time even to sit together for a talk. Yet I haven’t discussed about it with him."

Mrs. Yoon: "Try to discuses to it with your husband as soon as possible; never forget that education is an important part of a life."

Eunbi: "hmm"

Mrs. Yoon: "is your husband taking good care of you?"

Eunbi simply replied, "hmm"

Mrs. Yoon: "that’s so relief to hear that he’s taking good care of you. Stop thinking about unnecessary things and try to avoid feeling depressed."

Eunbi: "Hmm, take care of your health, love you~."

With that Eunbi hung up the call. Then she went to the bathroom, freshened up, and changed her outfit. She took one of the novels from the bookshelf, put it in her handbag, wore the matching shoes for her outfit, locked the entrance door, and walked to the nearby park.

It took her twenty minutes to reach the park. She sat down on the park bench and looked at the children at the play area. Her lips curled up for a smile automatically without her knowledge, as she looked at the pleasant smile on those children faces. Then she took out the novel from her handbag and begins to read.

After an hour the sun goes down and the park lights were turned on to brighten up the park. She forgets about everything and immerse in reading because the novel was too interesting to read and she loves reading books in an open places. Eunbi stopped reading as she heard someone blew a whistle; she shifted her gaze towards the direction from where noise come from and she noticed that the park was empty except her and two middle aged men. She checked the time of her wrist watch- it reads 8.30 pm. She closed the book shoved it in her handbag, walked to the entrance of the park. Those men quickly approached her and walks along with her, "Where are you going? Have you finished reading the book? If you didn’t, we’ll accompany you until you finish reading the book," said one of the guys.

"What were you reading alone in the night, chick?" another guy asked her.

Eunbi ignored their questions, quickly runs faster as much as possible to save herself from them, her eyes are searching for the security guard of the park for a help but to her misfortune there was no security guard could be seen in the park. Those men were chasing her madly to catch her in their arms, "don’t waste your energy by running away from us we are going to catch you for sure, bitch," one of the guys yelled. While she was running fast on the empty sidewalk she bumped into a young couple at the corner of the street and fell down on the sidewalk. Eunbi quickly stood up, held one of that person’s hands, and asked for help to save her from those men by pointing one of her hands towards those strangers. Those men stopped chasing Eunbi in the midway as they looked at her complaining about them to that couple, they yelled ’fuck’ with disappointment and turned over to the other side and runs away from that place.

Eunbi was trembling with fear. The young girl encircled her hand around Eunbi’s shoulder and comforted her, "Miss, are you alright? Those men are gone, first calm down yourself and then tell me where do you live? Would you want us to accompany till your house?"

Eunbi took few deep breaths and answered her, "no, thank you for you kind words. If you never mind could you please grab me a taxi?"

That young-girl nodded her head and asked her boyfriend to grab a taxi for Eunbi. Once the boy grabbed a taxi, Eunbi bowed her head to the couple, "thank you so much for helping me, and I will not forget you both in my life."

"There is no need to thank us, miss. We people should help others with some responsibilities when someone is in danger," that young-boy said.

"That’s so kind of you, if we ever meet again, let us have a coffee chat," Eunbi said with a smile to the young couple.

"Of-course, miss," the young couple said in unison.

Eunbi gets into the taxi and said the address of her house to the taxi driver.

Once she reached the house she sighed in relief as she saw the lights of the house were not turned on which means Young-soo has not yet returned back home. She thanked God and entered the house. She sat down on the couch, relaxed herself. She couldn’t imagine that she was escaped from those strangers before they physically abuse her. She thanked God for rescuing her at the right time from those strangers through that young couple.

Her heart skipped a beat as the door bell of the house rang. She went near to the door, peered through the security peephole in the solid oak door before she opens the door. As she saw it was Young-soo at the entrance she opened the door for him and headed straight to her room.

Young-soo was annoyed with Eunbi’s behavior but he just let it go because he didn’t want to get into an argument as soon he returned back the house. He sat down on the sofa sighed in tiredness, loosen-up his necktie relaxed for a few minutes and then he went into his room changed his clothes into t-shirt and a trouser. He walked to the kitchen filled a glass of water from the water dispenser of the fridge and drinks it down slowly while staring the kitchen- it looked so clean and tidy and there was no vessels were placed on top of the burner stove either at the counter top or on the dining table. It refers that she hasn’t prepared the dinner yet he was so angry with her, therefore he marched towards her room, swung opened the room door, and snarled "I had told you to not to stay inside the room when I’m in the house."

"So, now what?" Eunbi asked him in a quite gentle voice by leaning her back against the headrest of the bed.

"Stop questioning me, and now go prepare the dinner for us I’m starving." He snarled again.

"I’m so tired prepare it by yourself, Young-soo."

"You are tired or lazy? Look at your face in the mirror it looks swollen due to too much of sleep. If you keep continuing to sleep in the day time you will become a lazy goose for sure, now move your butt out of that bed, and do what is say." He ordered her.

Eunbi gets down from the bed, walked near to him, "Will you stop talking without knowing what has happened? Do you know how stress it is to spend all day alone in the house by doing the household works? Try to stay in the house at least for a day and then we will see who is lazy?"

"A lazy person constantly finds the reason to make excuses like you." He said.

Eunbi doesn’t want to take this argument any further because she was tired to argue with him when he doesn’t try to understand her situations. She closed her eyes, controlled her anger by taking a deep breath, "I know who I am, and nothing is going to change by calling me a lazy person, now you want me to prepare the dinner for us, isn’t it? Just give me a few minutes," she said and walked to the kitchen.

She opened the rice cooker as she saw it has some quantity of left over rice in that which will be enough for two people, so she prepared the shrimp fried rice in a few minutes. She transferred the fired rice into the two separate serving bowls, placed it on the dining table, and said loudly, "Dinner is ready."

They sat adjacent to each other at the dining table and eat the dinner in an utter silence. Young-soo broke the silence, "yah, today did you spoke to your mother over the phone?"

"Yes, how did you know?" Eunbi asked him with a suspicious tone.

Young-soo chewed the food from his mouth, "your mother called my mother after speaking with you over the phone and she complained to my mother that, ’your son doesn’t have time to talk with my daughter, he just concentrate only on his official work’. Now you tell me the truth that who is not interested to have a conversation, it’s me or you?"

She stayed in silence for a few seconds and apologized to him, "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that to my mother. What really happened was she asked me about my college admission, so I told her yet I haven’t discussed about it with you that you have been too busy with your official work, because of that we don’t have time to sit together for a talk. And she replied me that, try to discuss about it with you as soon as possible because education is an important part of a life."

Young-soo had another spoonful of fried rice while listening to her explanations. "So you’re saying that you just saved me from your mother with your lies," he said and tightly pressed his lips together. "You know why I didn’t discuss about your college admission with you? It’s because you are not going to continue your studies anymore."

"What," Eunbi asked and frowned at Young-soo. "Your father had assured me in front of you that I can continue my studies in one of the colleges of this Island and which is why agreed to discontinue my course."

"Only my father has assured you about it but I didn’t?" Young-soo shrugged his shoulders.

She could clearly understand that it was the part of his revenge, so she advises herself to not lose her hope at any point, "my education is my rights I don’t need your permission or your help I know how to re-join in a new college."

"That’s so cool to hear those words from you, my dear wife. But it’s impossible because I’m having all your certificates." He had one last spoonful of fried-rice, and commented, "The fired rice tastes good keep up the good work."

She gave him a questioning look.

"Stop looking at me questioningly; instead go check for your certificated in your room whether it is there or not?"

"Of course I’m going to do that," she shoved the spoon on the table and went to her room. She pulled open the cabinet drawer and as he said her certificates folder was missing. She searched it in the entire compartment of the closet and the dresser but it was not there. She walked to his room with exasperation, and looked in his cabinet drawers, but as she comes to know it was also not in there she opened his closet, threw away his clothes, accessories and other things on the floor with rage by searching her certificate folder in there.

As he heard some noises come out from his room he went to his room and shocked to see some of his favorite accessories were thrown on the floor. "What the hell do you think you are doing? Are you mad?" Young-soo yelled and stalked near to her.

"Yes I’m mad. Before I behave even worse return all of my certificates to me." She uttered in an exasperation snort.

"I’m so sorry I can’t," Young-soo replied casually.

"What you are going to do by having my certificates please return back it to me." She hits his chest with her fists, "Why are you doing this to me? Tell me what do you want from me?"

Young-soo grabbed her fists, pulled her against him. He leaned down on her ear, whispered with a smirk, "don’t you know what I want from you? I want you to fulfill my needs as a wife."

His answer took her breath away.

He pushed her on the bed and hovered above her. Her eyes are widened and her body started to tremble with fear. He grabbed her hands, and pinned them above her head, "Tell me are you ready to bear my child in your womb?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat nervously before she responds him, "I’m not your baby machine to bear your child in my womb for your desire. Don’t you feel ashamed to ask such things to me?"

"Why should I feel ashamed? I should feel ashamed only if I ask such things to some random woman but you are my wife. You should be proud of me for asking your permission."

"Yes of course, I would have felt proud of you if you didn’t force me to marry you against my wish, and if you didn’t misbehave with me like this."

"I made a mistake, my dear. I think I should have not asked your permission to touch you," he sighed. "Let’s just stop our arguments and start the process of lovemaking, I hope that you’ll co-operate with me." He said and leaned on and attacked the right side of her neck with his hot kisses.

Tears run down from her eyes and it crossed her nose bridge to the other side. "Don’t you feel ashamed to force me every night for your sexual desire? The physical relationship should be done under the love and mutual understanding between the husband and wife. I’m really exhausted by trying to be strong in front of you, now just hold me and do whatever you wanted to do to fulfill your sexual desires, but don’t ever think that you have won, you better remember that the only person I hate the most in this world is only you, and don’t ever imagine that I’ll bear your child in my womb. You are going to regret for this one day."

He felt as if he was stabbed alive with her words, and he felt guilty of his behavior towards her because he is not a guy to hurt someone for his needs. He stops attacking her neck and look at her face; those beautiful eyes of her are turned red by crying. She looks so weak mentally, and the extreme hate she has on him could be seen in her face. He released her hands and lay down flat on his back next to her on the bed. Eunbi turn her body to the other side, shut her eyes tight, wiped off the tears from her face with her hands, and hugged her knees.


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